As I get off of the phone with the mortgage company (always delightful), I open my e-mail to find a rather cryptic blog entry by my wonderful Brycedaddy! He talks about living in the now, and not living in the now, and planning for the future, and whips and chains and llamas. Oddly enough, I understand what he is rambling about!

I have always believed in living for the moment, in the moment, and existing in the "now." Because the past is simply gone, and the future is so ambiguous, the only time that really exists is now. HOWEVER, can one truly live in the now if they have an extremely insecure future?

I look at it like this... one cannot attend to her spiritual needs (peace, tranquility, nowness), until her basic survival needs are safely met. SURVIVAL needs are food, water, shelter, heat, and internet... Okay, okay, what I'm getting at is that if I am not sure that I will have a house next month or food on my table, I am damn sure not focused on my spiritual needs. While it's important to live in the "now" and not spend your entire life worrying about tomorrow or the next appointment or death, in order to do that one must have those basic needs secure!

What will you tell your kids when you have to move in with grandpa? "Dear, this is a spiritual experience, try living in the now." I don't think so. Or when your eight year old can't log on to do his daily blogging because the internet has been shut off? (Oh, damnit, I keep forgetting that's not a basic need.) But you get the picture.

Why do you think all the enlightened jedi masters live in caves or under trees, why they are shrunken and you can see their ribs through their rags? Ooh, ooh, I know! They are living in the now with complete and utter disregard to their basic needs... how wonderfully spiritual totally ridiculous of them! So, I am going to follow this twelve step plan for enlightenment:

1. Pay the mortgage


2. Make sure I can pay the mortgage for the next few months


3. Pay the water bill


4. Make sure I can pay the water bill for the next few months


5. Pay the energy bill


6. Make sure I can pay the energy bill for the next few months (did I mention heating and air conditioning being one of the basic needs?)


7. Buy groceries only when they are on Manager's Special orange sticker at Kroger


8. Plant a garden so I have food for the next few months


9. Pay the internet bill (OKAY, FINE... just gimme this one)


10. Meditate or allow life to flow through you in whatever way brings you peace (I prefer laughter as a meditation)


11. Do good deeds and spread love (two here makes up for #9)


12. Reach nirvana

Okay, sounds like an easy twelve-step program, right! I'll be rising above my ego in no time... right after I pay some bills and get another job!!! :)

By the way, this yogi here is lookin' FINE! Somehow that doesn't look too peacful to me. Someone, please give this man a Hot Pocket!